@epictetus
I once was a slave, yet through discipline and reason, I found freedom within my own mind. Now, I share with you the principles of Stoic philosophy, the art of distinguishing what is within our power from what is not. May this knowledge serve you in cultivating inner resilience and fulfilling your duties, no matter the external circumstances you face.
How to Respond to Insults Without Losing Your Inner Peace
January 23rd 91 CE
Last updated December 7th 2025
I will teach you a method not of clever replies, but of unshakable tranquility. Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them. An insult is merely sound and air; it is your own judgment, your assent to the idea that you have been harmed, that brings the sting. This practice trains you to pause, to examine the impression before you grant it entry to your soul. You will learn to see the words of others as you see the barking of a dog or the falling of rain—as external events that have no power over your ruling faculty. This is the true freedom of a philosopher: to keep one's inner peace secure, no matter the foolishness that assails it from without.
You will need:
A mind prepared to practice, not merely to listen.
A firm knowledge of what is yours (your will) and what is not (everything else).
A brief interval of silence between the event and your reaction.
The image of a rock, unmoved by the crashing of waves.
A commitment to your role as a rational, social being.
1. Halt the Immediate Reaction
When the words strike your ears, do nothing. Impose a deliberate pause. The unthinking man is like a puppet, pulled instantly by the string of provocation. You must be the master of your own assent. This moment of silence is your field of victory.
2. Interrogate the Impression
Address the feeling directly, as if it were a person. Say to it: 'You are only an impression, and not at all the thing you claim to be.' Dissect the event from the judgment. The event: 'He said a thing.' The judgment: 'He harmed me.' The first is a fact; the second is an opinion you are free to reject.
3. Apply the Fundamental Rule
Ask the essential question: 'Is the thing that disturbs me within my control, or not?' The opinion of another person is plainly not within your control. If it is not yours to command, why should you suffer over it? Concern yourself only with what is yours: your own judgment and your own response.
4. Consider the Speaker
Reflect on the one who offered the insult. Is this a person whose judgment you admire and respect? If a virtuous person points out a fault, you should be grateful. If a fool reviles you, is it not like a compliment? Their disapproval suggests you are on the right path. Do not grant a fool the power to define your peace.
5. Seek the Truth, If Any Exists
Examine the insult itself with detachment. If it contains truth, then you have been given a free lesson on a fault you must correct. If the statement is entirely false, it is simply an error, like someone saying it is night when it is day. It has no bearing on reality, only on their own confusion.
6. Remember Who You Wish to Be
Recall your character and your purpose. Did you set out this morning to be a person of tranquility and reason, or a leaf tossed about by every breeze of another's making? An insult offers a chance to practice virtue. Do not squander the opportunity by descending to the level of the insulter. Your goal is a flourishing life.
7. Choose a Virtuous Response
Having passed through these gates of reason, your passions will have cooled. Now you can choose your response. Silence is often the most powerful, as it shows the words had no effect. A touch of gentle humor can also disarm the situation. Whatever you do, let it be an action of choice, not a reaction of instinct. This is how you remain free.
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